Getting a fix

I need my fix.
No, I need it.
Too bad.
Give me it. Give me something. Anything.
I’m not in the business anymore.
It doesn’t matter if you are or not. Either way, I still need my fix. Now where can I get it.
Listen, this is it for me. I’m not doing it anymore. I was as hooked as you are. But I have a life. A wife, a kid, I can’t give that up. I love them more than anything in my life, so if it means giving up my wealth, or worse…
I’m sorry but I’m not in the mood. I just need what you have.
But I don’t have it! I’m out. I’ve cleaned up and I suggest you do the same. You care about Julia. She means so much to you.
Don’t toy with me! I need this for her. She’s in greater danger of me when I’m off the stuff than when I’m on. You don’t know what it’s like.
I do. I know what it’s like before, during, and after. I know it helps. But the only thing that last is staying away. Do yoga, work out, whatever it takes. Just get off of it and don’t look back! I don’t regret it, neither will you.
No! You don’t understand. Listen. It’s not that easy. Why do you think we see so many of our cohorts dependent on the government? This is insane. We can’t keep it up. I was a pioneer of the advancements we’ve made in the past few decades. But this is too much. It doesn’t make since. Not now. Not until I get my fix!
NO. It’s not worth it.
Oh but it is. Now if you don’t know where I can get my fix, then I certainly do.
It doesn’t matter. I’ll take my chances.
You won’t! There’s no chance here! If you’re not going to tell me…
I’m not telling you anything. (Tears in eyes) I know you’re better than that. This is the problem, I know that I’m better than that. We can’t keep doing this. Think about it!
Thirty years ago I’d have a drink! Nothing more!! I didn’t have any issues, I would stay the course, whatever they told me, but there’s something different now. Something I can’t control. You’ve felt it. You know what it is and how it is tamed. There is no reasoning behind it. It’s like commerce. People kill people every day in the process of making money. They don’t care! And for what? They are doing it for their own selfish needs.
But that’s different.
Why? Because we see their faces? No! It’s the same. Only we know what we’re doing and see it. We know!
And does that make us better? No, it makes us insane! We know what we did but that doesn’t stop us from doing it again. At least those pompus bastards who only think of themselves only think of themselves! They don’t think of the consequences. They don’t have to. They are served on a plate! We on the other hand… Listen, I can’t even talk about it. I can’t think about it. I am done.
You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s the only way.
I’ll fight.
And you’ll loose.

Here is a small sample of beer, mainly light, and what the percentage of alcohol by volume is per calorie.
1. Milwaulkee's best... "The Beast Light" gives hangovers!!
2. Miller light is ok at best
3. Mic Ultra Amber is my choice but Bud Select is a close competitor. So when I'm watching my waste but want a buzz, I'll switch up between the two.
4. When buzz and money are not an issue, Guinness Foreign Extra Stout every single time. It's filling and more expensive but oh so good.
Mix it up. Do a half and half, Guinness and Bud Select. Whatever makes you happy and keeps you skinny. Enjoy!

Update: Bud Select 55 clocks in at 55 calories 2.5 abv and 4.55% abv/calorie. I'll update further if I ever get around to trying it.
Umm.. it's ok. It's about as good as Bud Select, but you don't feel the buzz as soon so it doesn't taste better as fast.

The Veg

Pizza Pizza pie, oh my my my my.

What are you doing?

Nothing why?

You’re going crazy! You need to straighten up before you get in trouble.

Who’s going to get me in trouble? Are you going to send me to my room?

No, but mom will. She’s not in a very good mood and your poor excuse for singing won’t make it any better. Just quiet down, take a chill pill, start doing homework.

I never do homework at home. What would I do at school? And besides, I’ll take care of mom, don’t you worry.


(Door from house to garage closes. Billy quickly turns radio off.)

Oh, hey mom. Didn’t hear you come in. I was just about to get back to my homework.

You didn’t mow the lawn today.

Yeah, um, I’ve had a lot going on. You know, homework and practice, I’ll have some time tomorrow.

That’s what you’ve been saying for a week now. It better be done by the time I get home tomorrow or else you’re missing practice on Thursday.

But mom! I’m getting so good! And Coach Jackie will be so mad! I promise, I’ll have it done tomorrow. But Jill can’t be tanning out back. She always gets in my way. What does she do around here anyway.

Not much. That’s why she doesn’t get paid for anything. You know your sister, she’s better at spending money than making it. What’s for dinner?

I’m making soy burgers with spinach and protein shakes for dessert.

Sounds delicious.

How was work?

You know, same old same old. It seems to be getting worse recently though, people are acting strange.

Stranger than usual? I swear mom, I don’t even understand what the big deal is. How could people be this out of control? I mean, you grew up just like them didn’t you?

Yes son, but it’s hard to explain. People didn’t really understand the changes that were going to be made, why they were going to made, they felt like their freedoms were being taken away. I, fortunately, wasn’t affected like they were and realized that it was the best for society.

What if it’s not the best for society? Didn’t we spend a good hundred years trying to put a chicken in every pot? We thought that that was going to solve all of our problems and in many cases, it just made it worse. Maybe the government should just stay out of our lives and let us make decisions for ourselves.

But that’s the problem. When we make decisions we tend not always to do what’s best for everyone. The idea that everyone should have wealth and be in a better position is very subjective. We tried giving people their freedom and they ended up just slowly destroying the planet and themselves.

Now they just destroy each other. Besides, we’re still killing the planet.

Yes but where would we be if we stayed en route?

Well, we’d still have homelessness, and of course starvation. I know this kid at school who said that he wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for the change. He gave a whole presentation on it.

And it’s affected many more people around the world Billy. It’s more far reaching than we can imagine.

But aren’t there other things we can do? People still have gas driven cars, and they still are cutting down the rain forest. And think of the brutality that has come about since the big change.

Yes, but it was something that was changeable very quickly. It would be harder to tell someone that they’d have to find another way to commute to work each day…

But the rain forest. Aren’t they still being chopped down just to suite the needs of the wealthy. I mean, there are other sources of renewable wood. And you know that they are not living by society’s dietary rules…

And that’s why none of them live in the US, because there are people like me who work hard to stop these criminals. Look Billy, I know this is a touchy subject and you’re probably going to have a hard time keeping yourself convinced that it need be this way. But you have to think of the alternatives. It’s never going to be a perfect world, but we can try to make it a better one.

But these people. What if Jill’s next?

She won’t be.

Or nanny, or the kid down the street? What if the kid from class who feels that the law has saved his future is destroyed by the consequences?

Billy, it really isn’t that bad. Incidents are up but they’re still manageable. And every criminal that we catch…

You mean kill.

I mean stop from killing, is one more that we don’t have to worry about.

But they say it’s in our blood. That it’s our animal instinct that we are trying to suppress. That’s why these criminals are so insane. They say that once their done they calm down. It’s like they’ve gotten their fix and they won’t need to satisfy it for a while longer. Why don’t we just find a drug to help them?

There is only one drug for them unfortunately. When we decided to inoculate the animals we sealed are fate. We didn’t know we’d be creating these monstrous outbursts.

Shouldn’t we find a way to administer the serum to ourselves? Wouldn’t that stop the problem?

All testing to this point shows that it would kill us. We just have to control ourselves. I have no pity for them. Just the thought of it makes me sick.

Not hungry?

Billy! I don’t want to ever hear you say anything like that again! If they heard you, Billy, I know if I heard you!

Isn’t that why people complain? There freedom of speech is even taken away.

That is not something that shouldn’t be spoken about. This isn’t a game.

You’re right. It’s a real issue. Shouldn’t we put ourselves in their shoes?

We are in their shoes! There’s no difference between us and them, that’s why I have no pity. I can control myself why can’t they?

I just sometimes wonder what animal flesh taste like.

It’s not worth it! Now go to your room!

I sometimes wonder what human flesh taste like.

(tears in her eyes) Go to your room right now!

Book, feel free to comment

There are three types of people in the world, the fat, the skinny, and the strong. We’ll go into greater detail later on that one. But for now, there are three reasons why one should never eat meat, it’s unhealthy, it hurts the environment, and it is immoral. But before we take off on that subject matter I would just like to say that there are three reasons why one should eat meat, all of which I will explain at a later point. And besides, we really haven’t even touched on three matters that I really think that we should just get out there, put into the open, before anything else is said about anything. Now, onto part one of a series of essays that will explain why a person’s train of thought is what will keep them fat, skinny, or strong.

Yesterday, I counted my calories. That’s not really unusual, I’ve gotten into the habit of doing this for the past few years ever since I decided to loose weight. And I did loose weight, and much of it was due to counting calories, but that is not why I lost weight. I lost weight because I obsessed about it. I noticed a change. I did the right thing to do in order to loose weight, only not the right thing to do when one should be loosing weight. I saw a difference, so I stuck to it. I was fat. Being fat is extremely helpful when trying to loose weight. Not caring what you look like is extremely helpful when trying to loose weight. A fat person loosing a pound is nothing. I think that I thought that first pound away. That’s not what I mean by it’s a person’s train of thought that makes them skinny, I’m just saying that that is how fat I was. I didn’t have to do any strenuous lifting or dieting, I just thought about being skinny, which I did very little of previously, and the extra calories burned in the straining of my brain that much further probably lost me a pound in about an hour. That is why it’s easy for a fat person to loose weight, because there’s so much of it to be lost. It’s not really even loosing it, it’s shifting it. A fat person, first of all, has no idea where a pound of fat is in order to have lost it, there’s just too much to keep track of. But it is seriously like shifting the weight. That could be water loss for anyone. The average person can have about four pounds of water weight gained and lost throughout the day. Sorry, gained or shifted. Although you could say shifted for anyone. Matter, energy, they don’t disappear, they are just displaced. Fat turns into energy.

This is the cyclality of life. From dust we come, to dust we return. A little morbid but some truth to it no? Well it doesn’t matter if you agree or not because I’m using an archaic form of communication in which you have no way of replying to me. Even if you did want to get in contact with, I’d welcome it freely, you still probably wouldn’t care enough, even by the time you finish the exhaustingly long sentence, to do. That’s even saying that you’ remember what your question or concern was anyway. I dabbled on web pages before, and thought about the opportunity that advertisements would lend within that process, but I never caught on. Pretty ironic if I end up putting this on a webpage along with or instead of publishing it in hard copy. Still not sure if I’d want to go to a wiki or something a little less maliable. I think that I’m getting off the point though, and there’s no sense in doing that.

So, why count calories? It’s common sense. It’s watching what you eat. But in the most efficient manner. It’s one thing to think you know what’s good for you and say I won’t eat the bad and will eat the good and it’s a completely different matter to know what’ws good to know what’s bad toa very mathematical point. It’s kind of funny because we know that cake and sweets are bad for us but why. Well, there a re a lot of reasons and even other reasons that would say that some are good for you, but that’s only exciting if you’re interested in that sort of thing, so I won’t bore the majority. So I picked up an apple and said, this is good. Was it? Who really knows but me and God. WE can analyse and assume all we want. And we’d probably be right, but should we play such games. This is where dietscome in isn’t it. We stop the guessing game and the assumptions, because everyone in the whole wide world thinks that making an assumption is an awful thing to do so they call it by another name or don’t mention what they’re doing at all, yes, that’s right people, I just made an inference aboput every person in the world! Or at least the United States. So, why are we so lazy. We’re not, we’re just impatient. If we were to follow the true rules of loosing weight, counting calories, so on, we would take forever to see significant changes. Unless your fat. In that case you just need a little self control. I’ must have lost a good five pounds by now in my writings…. But I’m not fat, I just haven’t eaten in a while. That’s right people! Starvation! Aneroxia! I’m sure even Ballemia works, I’ve never tried it, but it must have some sort of efficacy otherwise why the appeal right?? Now, not eating has totally worked for me before. That’s a great way to count calories right? It’s pretty easy to count to zero. Why the bad press.

Just like any quick fix, it’s probablyu not the best idea. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll drink a cup of coffeee for the purpose of getting an energy rush, but I know that I’m going to loose it and be even more tired in a few hours or so. In the same manner, I might decide to stop eating to loose a few pounds, but at what cost? Eoither I loose a coupld of pounds during the day and eat twice as much as usual when the evening comes and gain it allback. Or I loose ten pounds for the week and gain it all back the next week because my metabolisnm is so screwed up because of my highly eratic eating fashion, or I wait an even longer time and I loose a lot of weight, mainly because of atrophy.

Muscle eighs about four times as much as fat. You gain muscle in the opposite manner as one looses weight. If I want to loose weight, loose muscle, I stop eating. The body starts to eat away at the immediate reserves of cabrs within your system and then it resorts to targeting more long term storage areas. This is when it starts going after yor fat, this is a good thing folks, just in case you’re not keeping up. But then, then tis starts to go after muscle. Muscle can also be broken down into nutrients and essential energy to be used to fuel the bodys activities. So you’re loosing fat, you’re loosing muscle, what’s important to you? If you don’t mind being a skinny weak guy then there probably aren’t too many issues beyond that it’s just not healthy. If you’re planning on keeping weight off after your fast thaen it might be an issue as well. Your muscle, along with weighing more than fat, also needs to be maintained and takes a lot more maintainance than fat. This not only means activily working out to make yourself stronger but also constantly feeding it with more energy, more carbs. Your muscle burns calories while you sit around doing nothing. They’re free loaders, that’s whjy I like working out so much.

It kind of sucks to work out. I mean, it’s a lot of work, and you get tired. And usually youe doing it before you go to work, or after your done working. But you really haven’t been working. I mean unless you live somewhere outside of the US or if you are in some sort of manual labor job than you’re doing little physical work. You’re probably more than likelyjust doing a series of tasks over and over again. Going through the daily activities one by one or one after another depending on what you do. Inputting, answering phones, dialing phones, writing paperwork, filing paperwork, seeing patients, seeing clients. What do you do every hour of your work day that’s probably the same as every other work day in your entire life? I’m sure you’ve thought about it it. You might have even thought of it in terms of weight loss beacuas a lot of these people tell you to do little things every single day in order to loose weight bit by bit every ssecond of your life. Increase your metabolism right. But the truth is you’re prooabbly not doing anything that is phycially exhausting throughout the day. Just mentally. We think that we’re physically exhausted, so when we go to exhaust ourselves physically, it’s not really working for us. We go at our daily business hit themgym but don’et hit it hard. Barely hit it at all, we almost miss it in fact. So what’s the point. The point is, if we get there we’re are going to do something. Better yet, don’t go to the gym. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere without amotor vehicle. Don’t worry about where it si you’re going, or if you do pick someplace that is far away. If you don’t have time to go nowhere with no real care of where there is than you better planb it. Go Somehwere where you need to see someone or do something or pick something light up. Go toa nutritious dinging spot, whatever. Go walk to the 7 eleven that is farthest away from your house to get that slurphy that you were going to get no matter what. If you were going to get it anyway might as well burn as many calories going to get it right?

Now If you’re going no where than go to the farthest nowhere possible. Don’t mind no matter where you’re going, just get there. Wink.

Let’s go progressive. And I’m not talking insurance. That’s a change for me since I’m an insurance agent. On that one, what is something we can do today to significantly impact tomorrow. Or even, what can we do this week that will make a change in next month. What will go different this month that will make us feel different about ourselves and the world around us next year. These are all important questions. What it boils down to is, the little sacrifices affects long term gains.

Think of it in terms of saving money. A dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow, this is why we invest. So through time, that dollar saved among many dollars saved, with compounded interest will give you the security for, whatever. Let’s say, for living comfortably. No matter whether it’s a short term goal such as a vacation, or more long term, such as retirement, it’s the little things that will get us there.

In the same manner, losing weight most be looked at. It might be more lucrative to eat fattening foods, not work out, whatever the case might be that keeps us from loosing a couple of pounds this week. I mean, what is a couple of pounds? Your weight probably fluctuates about four to five pounds a day in water weight, why go through all of the trouble to loose a couple of pounds in a week? Even worse, what if we don’t loose any weight? What if we gain muscle, which weighs four times as much as fat, and the scales says we’re just as fat as before? I’d rather go out to the movies and spend my money today rather than sacrificing for little to no gains. But here’s the thing, if we don’t sacrifice today, not only are we loosing the opportunity to loose those couple of pounds but we are also training ourselves to be bad. Just like if we never save, it becomes more difficult to save because we’ll miss those dollars, it’s also going to become harder to loose weight the longer we wait. Don’t let the eternal brick wall of I’ll do it later get between you and your goals. A pound may not seem like a lot, but it will get you in a position to loose much more.